FoundSomehowI managed to findSome friends down hereWho believe I'm worth it.Who are willing to defend meFrom myself even ifMyself can be harmful to them as well.Friends who hold me when I sobWhem I'm raging against lifeAnd seeking comfot in any mannerThat might make me forget.Who stop my flailing armsAnd still my heaving sobs.Who tell me my apologies don't matterEven when I can't stop myselfFrom apologizing even more.Friends who get mad at people,When I can't,Despite my taking the blameFor what they said to me,Because it is my fault,But they still place equal blameWhen I cannot do so.And here I thoughtI could not find friends,But somehowI did.And this is good. 10-10-04
SBTSHBSI wanted things crazyI wanted things heatedI wanted to be wantedYou said I was wantedAs you made my breath stopAnd I let myself believeEven though I know better.What you want you can't haveBut you can have meSo what does it matter?And you tell me what you wantWho you wantBut I'm not her.And so I'm just the bitter remainsOf something that should be sweet.Something hot, heavy and demandingUncomfortable, regretable when notBecause I'm not the right personAnd we both know it.But I didn't want more than tisMore than some one to hook up withBut you don't have to tell meAbout how you want moreFrom herAnd leave me feeling like less thanA cheap whore. 09-20-2004
Waking up Alone SucksWaking up alone sucks.It raises this feeling of lonelinessFrom somewhere in my middle.I didn't knowThat it could feel so goodTo wake up next to some oneUntil recently.The only thing betterThan falling asleep in some one's armsIs waking up still in them.For so longI was aloneAnd it didn't seem that bad,But that was only becauseI didn't knowWhat not aloneFelt like.Then I got a taste of it.Now I don't want to be alone.I don't want to be alone anymore.Falling asleep alone sucksAnd so does waking up alone,More soBecause in the meantimeYou dream of not being alone.Waking up alone sucks. 08-30-2004
Some daysSome days,It's just not your day,To be the one who hurts.Instead you wrap it in misery,Box it in sympathy,And put it on a shelf,In the corner of your mind,So you can tend the wounds of others,And shoulder others' pain,Because it's just not your day,To be the one who hurts.Maybe, after some chunk of forever,Off in some corner of never,It will be your day, but,Some days,It's just not your day,To be the one who hurts.
KnowingYou say I don't know.That I don't know,How much it can hurt.What do you know,Of how much I've hurt?Just because,You know your pains,Don't assume,To know mine.
The Pledge and the QuestionIf I needed youWould you be there?If I called out your nameWould you answer?Or will my need go unabated?And my calls unanswered?I'll always be thereWhen you call in painI'll always offer a shoulderWhen you cannot use my earsI'll lose sleep over your problemsI'll whisper words of comfort to your fearsI will always offer comfortAt every hour of the nightBut when I'm in pain and cryingWill I find the offer returned?I'll always share what I haveWhat's mine is yours.I'll check to be sure you made it homeI'll hold your hair backI'll send you to bed.When there's no one else to turn toI'll be there.When you cannot speakBut need some one to listenI'll be there.When I cry in the nightAnd cut myself on inner painWill there be any shoulder?Or will it always be the same?When it is the middle of the nightI'll make sure your popcorn doesn't burnI'll talk to you about why you shouldn'tI'll be your silent confidantI'll be the sarcastic witWho makes you laughDespite t